December 11, 2018
I’ve had some down time in the past couple of weeks. Laundry has fallen behind, and my household routine has pretty much gone down the drain.
There are a couple of reasons for my downturn. I had my last wedding as Caroline Price Photography, LLC. I closed down the business. There was a big sense of relief in doing so, but I also know that I am left navigating new waters in this new hobby venture and that scares me. Anything that disturbs my equilibrium is likely to send me to depression.
Boys have been home sick– last week it was Oliver with pneumonia, this week it is Liam with strep. I’ve had a cold that started while Oliver was home and physical sickness always affects my ability to regulate my mood. So that’s the other reason I know I have had affecting my depression.
Today is actually feeling better. I drank some water this morning instead of launching immediately into my coffee. I have given my light therapy some extra time to work. I’ve done some stretches and plan to do some stair stepping to get some cardio in.
I’m introspective as usual and have decided to start doing DBT exercises again. I want desperately to be a better mom and wife for my family.
That’s all for today.
December 9, 2018
So Gail didn’t touch the front really at all but she did clean up the back quite a bit. I think it looks cute. Best of all, I just have to make it to March for another cut– it’s already scheduled. So I have that hanging over my head so that I don’t go cutting on it myself.
December 8, 2018
I’ve been doing home hair cuts with the clippers on the back since July. But it’s getting so long in the back that it looks way funny now. I am really past the point where I should be doing home hair cuts anymore.
I don’t really want to lose any length off any of my hair but it really needs to be cleaned up since I’ve done the home cutting thing. So, I have an appointment this afternoon.
I am resigned to the fact that I will lose a lot of length off the back since I have been using the clippers so high. It is what it is. At least I have a kick-ass stylist.
December 5, 2018
Today is the last day of my photography business. I wrapped up the last business this morning and have already begun steps to dissolve the whole thing. I stopped taking new jobs weeks ago but I had one last wedding this past weekend to shoot and those photos went out this morning.
It is with a full heart that I have closed this chapter of life. I have photographed 14 weddings in the past year and a half. I photographed one proposal, and many family sessions, several engagement sessions. It was a privilege to participate in those families’ memories. I realized that dream of being a wedding photographer. And if I truly believe what more than one bride told me about it, I was pretty good at it.
I wanted to be a professional photographer to lend legitimacy to my endeavors with my camera. It was never about the money.
What I have learned is that I have legitimacy with my camera as an amateur, taking pictures of my boys. There’s a lot that’s right about documenting my family’s journey.
There’s also a lot that’s right about accepting my own limitations and the reality is, I have tangible limits that are incompatible with an occupation that requires so many late nights and off-routine hours.
I hope to start a new series of personal projects in my fresh retirement. First up is documenting my house.