As I have said in multiple spaces including here, I am depressed at the moment. There are several things keeping me afloat during this time and I am thankful for each one:
- A wonderful partner is integral to my being able to take care of myself. When I get like this, I am not the most attentive parent and Jared is fantastic to pick up the slack, particularly with early mornings and getting the kids ready for school when I am feeling draggy.
- A good relationship with my psychiatrist is of utmost importance. I am so grateful that I have a good working relationship with my current psychiatrist and I feel comfortable speaking up when things don’t feel quite right.
- I am not regularly on an antidepressant (though I have been prescribed one now). I am thankful for the medication journey I have been on over the years. It would have been easy to throw my hands up and give up when the first two or three antidepressants didn’t work. As it turns out, my particular antidepressant is a fourth-line antidepressant and it works well enough when it is necessary.
- I have wonderful friends I can turn to when needed.
- My morning coffee grounds me in times like this. It’s not just the act of drinking the coffee. There is something about the tactile routine of my pour-over system and the anticipation of that fresh coffee.
- I am so grateful for my paper journal. As much as I like to write here, there is no substitute for my private journaling journey.
- My yoga mat is serving as a gentle place to stretch when I feel up to it.
I don’t know how long this depressive episode will last, of course. I’m thankful the depression isn’t as severe as it has been in previous seasons. For now, I’m just hanging on for the ride and fighting it as best I can.