Endings are hard.
I’ve been down because someone I once loved is going through something terrible. And as much as I want to help with their situation, I can’t. And I am pretty sure they are shouldering the whole situation alone. And because I can’t help with certain things and because they are also shutting me out, and also because it’s a SNAFU anyway that I am in contact with this person, I am having to back away from the friendship.
I know that is cryptic. It’s the best I can do for now. One day I hope to be able to put words to my feelings here in public like I can in my trusty journal. Would make for much more interesting reading for anyone that stumbles across this lonely little blog.
So I spent this morning wallowing in self-pity. I have tried to pick myself out of it this afternoon, but I can feel the depression oozing into every orifice. And it is hard to stay out of bed.
I just need to remember how wonderful my life is and appreciate it. Move on, think less. Love on my boys, love on my Jared. Sweep the floor, brush the dogs. Do instead of ruminating.