I’d like to say that every post here will be shiny and pretty and uplifting. But, that just isn’t how I operate. I get pretty bleak sometimes, baring my emotional scars. Sometimes it feels like I’m wearing them on my forehead.
I should heed the phrase, “trigger warning,” more carefully. An article I read earlier whose title started with the phrase set me into this mood almost instantaneously.
I was in a great mood late yesterday, upbeat about the world. I was in the mood to make plans and those plans were realistic and progressive in nature. Life was good.
Life is still good. Nothing about my external circumstances has changed. I still intend to make and follow through with plans.
Stupid article, that one I read last night, the one that sent me to the place that caused me to start drafting this post. If I didn’t know better, I’d stop reading when I come across stuff like that. Maybe I am finally learning to know better.
Suffice it to say that I don’t wonder about evil in the world because I’ve seen it firsthand.
That’s all I care to say about the causes of those scars. The sources of those scars deserve no more attention than the acknowledgement that they are evil.
Thankfully, these days I can bring myself back to the process my psychiatrist is teaching me, a process of sorts that we’ve worked years to achieve. Focus on the photography. Focus on the present and the future, the past is irrelevant. Bring my mind back to my safe house, here in the present with my sweet dog and even sweeter baby boy both lying beside me.
There is safety of my family’s rhythm, safety in my hobbies. Today I will fall hard into both of these things.