August 1, 2018

My youngest baby started Pre-K today. He rode the bus to school with his big brother Liam. Liam doesn’t start school until tomorrow so I had to go pick Liam up, and I got to see Oliver get off the bus and go into the school. Oliver didn’t see me. He was very busy following the teacher’s directions.

For four and a half years, Oliver has been my constant companion. Now he’ll have a life apart from mine. I know he is ready for it but I am feeling torn. In some ways, I am so ready for this day. In other ways, I wish his babyhood could have gone on forever. Oliver was the gift from God I didn’t know I needed, at a time when I needed it most. Before Oliver, I was a mom disconnected from my kids’ needs. Before Oliver, the big boys went to daycare so I hadn’t kept a baby at home from birth until school age. Oliver transformed the way I parent all my children, most definitely for the better.

I don’t know what I am going to do with my time just yet. Jared has arranged for me to be able to volunteer at one of the schools. I may do that. But I don’t know what I am going to do for this week. I don’t know that I will go over to the schools for the first week of school. I know I will try to be more connected to my friends as the school year moves forward.

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